The Subaru Ascent is the Best Vehicle on the Planet

Statistics are important these days. Almost as important as cupholders, one could say. They help provide context and can make deciding between two things a bit easier. Unless we’re talking about strokes on a golf course, the bigger the number, the better something is. And with that mentality, the Subaru Ascent has one stat that puts it above all else and may just make it the best vehicle in the world*.

Now, stay with me here because the Subaru Ascent is a newcomer into a cluttered world of 7-passenger SUVs, including vehicles like the Volkswagen Tiguan and Mazda CX-9 on the more affordable end of the spectrum all the way up to the Lincoln Navigator L and Mercedes GL 550 on the more plutocratic side of things. But Subaru didn’t just ease into this segment with their first 7-passenger SUV since the Tribeca went out of production in 2014. No, they bullied their way to the front of the line with one feature that they knew nobody else could touch. One number so big that it eclipses the rest of the competition.

The 2018 Subaru Ascent has 19 freaking cupholders.

19 CUPHOLDERS!!!

There are 2 cupholders on each front door, 2 cupholders in the center console, 3 more on each rear door, 2 in the rear console, and 5 more that are shared by the passengers in the third row.

There’s not a single car in the industry that even comes close, aside from the Volkswagen Atlas and its measly 17 cupholders. Only 17? Please.

Now, some of you might not see what the big deal is. Some of you might point out that with seating for seven, none of your passengers should need enough cupholders for more than, say, 2 drinks, but you know what? People get thirsty. They get so thirsty that they need a place to put their drink. And their backup drink, and most of their backup drink to their backup drink. If it were up to me, each passenger would have room for their own 6-pack of choice. But alas, the world just isn’t ready for a v42-cupholder vehicle—so the Subaru Ascent, with its 2.7 cupholders per person is the best we’re going to get until such a time that automakers really understand the importance of proper passenger hydration.

And that, my friends, is why the Subaru Ascent is the best vehicle in the world*.

*If you’re really thirsty.

Learn more about the Subaru Ascent and its 19 cupholders and view current inventory at morries.com.

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